The waiting game

As we learn in class, the average non-induced, first time mom gestates 41 weeks and 1 day, or "8 days past your EDD," in terms of what your doc at a routine OB visit will inform you. That means that a high percentage of women go into labor naturally days to weeks even after this average of "8 days late," which is normal for her and is the exact right timing for when her baby is ready. But it is SOOOOOOOOO hard to wait once you hit that magical EDD. Each passing day seems like an eternity. So you may become very open to suggestion, when the doctor brings up induction and sort of pads the issue with comforts such as your husband/mom/family/etc. can plan accordingly, you will be DONE being pregnant, and it is "safe."

Your baby is worth the wait

We learn in The Bradley Method about the cascade effect of interventions that frequently begins with induction. Each intervention has it's own risks which are compiled with subsequent interventions that may become necessary. We also know that if mom is not feeling supported to continue on, carrying the baby until the baby is ultimately ready, she can be more likely to be induced even if it is for convenience, rather than an actual medical indication.


That is where you coaches come in. I sent a brief list of reminders to the coach of a couple who is currently several days past that elusive EDD and waiting for their bundle of joy to arrive, and I wanted to share the suggestions with you all.

• Stay hydrated. It is your job to bring her water/juice. Use a straw, she'll probably drink more. This is good practice for you as a coach to try to remember during labor!
• Keep well-nourished and well-rested. Ask her to take naps. You never know when labor will begin and how long it will go, but once it starts, these can be a little difficult to maintain.
• Distract her with non-baby stuff while you're waiting for labor to begin. Bring out some old pictures, talk to her about how you met/fell in love, watch a favorite movie.
• Talk about the baby. But if she does want to talk about the baby, discuss the name if you haven't decided. Talk about who you think he/she will look like. What personality traits you hope he/she does or does not have. Read baby books to baby.
• Go on walks. Multiple per day is good. While she needs to get lots of rest, she also needs to be upright, especially on her feet to help bring the baby down.
• Go over a "stress" list. Ask her to answer, "What if anything is weighing on your mind?" Write them down, and address them one by one as to how you are dealing with them together.
• Think welcoming thoughts. Talk to baby. Let her hear you beckon the baby come on down. Remind her of her own psychosomatic connection with her physical body.
• Help her relax physically with massage. Think about all the stuff that you're planning on doing for her in labor and do that stuff now! You maybe able to fine-tune your skills to what she really prefers.
• Make her laugh. You're good at that. She loves to laugh with you. Just commentary about stuff on tv may work. It releases endorphins when she smiles.
• Go over your Bradley book. If she doesn't want to, do it by yourself. You'll refresh your memory by reading the B.E.S.T. pg 93-96 (or highlights on pg 97-98), first stage  pg 74-75, transition/second stage, pg 86-87.
• Check off as much as you can on the list to bring to the hospital and put it in the car. Make sure you know what few key things need to go when it is time.
• Encourage her. Most importantly, tell her how she is doing a great job, already caring for your baby so well. Tell her how she is going to do great, when it is just the right time. And that she doesn't need to worry about when that right time is - the baby knows and her body is capable.

When does learning begin?

Pop quiz: When does learning begin? Answer: Before we are born. Science writer Annie Murphy Paul talks through new research that shows how much we learn in the womb -- from the lilt of our native language to our soon-to-be-favorite foods. 


From the Bradley perspective, this video reaffirms The Bradley Method's emphasis on the importance of nutrition, relaxation (dealing with stress in a healthy way), as well as the importance of mom's physical presence immediately upon birth - the baby really does know you already!


Click here if you have about 17 minutes to watch this interesting bit.

Seed in the belly

As I stated in class, I'm not a big into celebrating Halloween, however, if you're going to dress up slash dress up your kids, this is the day to do it, right? And since our Class 5 fell on Oct. 31st, we did it in style. Our absolutely awesome couple, Sierra & Charlie, won the "Best-Dressed Couple" Contest! They also brought homemade vegan pumpkin muffins to share with everyone. 

They informed us that Charlie was the farmer that put the seed in Sierra's belly! P.S. The dread locks are for real :) And yes, there is an actual baby bump under there somewhere!


And they won... a whoopie cushion! J/K- it is an old fashioned hot water bottle, which can be used as a warm compress as we learned in class that can be an effective comfort tool in labor (and throughout pregnancy, or anytime actually, hot or cold). 

Coaches- it is your job to get one of these if your wife/partner would like to try this a comfort measure! 

If you do decide to use a good old hot water bottle, make sure you use hot tap water (not boiling water that could crack the container) and fill it 2/3 full. Securely close the stopper and dry off the bottle completely. Then, make sure turn it upside down over the sink and check for leaks.


While I normally like to link to where you can purchase these types of things for yourself, this particular one I bought from CVS (about $11). I don't want to link to any particular item since there are mixed reviews on most of them and I haven't tried any of them except this one.


We had a great first labor rehearsal! Wonderful job, beautiful moms and attentive coaches!

And now, for those of you who missed it, a quick pic of my two little puppies (a Dalmatian and a pink poodle) who made a brief appearance before class.

Time for Coach to Relax

The tables are turned in Class 3 and instead of coaches focusing on helping their pregnant partners to relax, coaches get to appreciate the importance of relaxation and a good coach to help you get there. Pregnancy is such a wonderful time for both parents to soak up time with each other before the baby arrives. Make sure to enjoy this precious time with the one that you love.


Although it is not a good for pregnant women to lay on their backs for long periods of time, we have the coaches lay on their backs for this one. The pregnant partner tailor sits with the back of the coach's head on a pillow in her lap, his body extending straight away from her. She SLOWLY goes through the following head/neck/shoulder massage using slow and deliberate touch to help with physical relaxation. I've written it all out completely rather than using (3x, etc.) for ease of use if you do read it aloud.
...


Say "hello" to the face with a gentle touch of the fingertips over the face.


Neck and Shoulders
Gently stroke neck, shoulders, and back of head.
Gently stroke neck, shoulders, and back of head.
Gently stroke neck, shoulders, and back of head.
With fingertips bent, stroke neck, shoulders, and back of head, digging into the muscles of the neck and shoulders.
With fingertips bent, stroke neck, shoulders, and back of head, digging into the muscles of the neck and shoulders.
With fingertips bent, stroke neck, shoulders, and back of head, digging into the muscles of the neck and shoulders.
Gently stroke neck, shoulders, and back of head.


Face
Smooth across the forehead, massaging temples in circles with thumbs.
Smooth across the forehead, massaging temples in circles with fingertips.
Stroke across the eyebrows with thumbs, ending in circles at temples.
Stroke under the eyes with thumbs, ending in circles at temples.
Stroke down the nose and across the cheeks, ending in circles with fingertips.
Stroke across the mouth areas, ending in circles with fingertips.
Using your hands, deeply massage the jaw, chin and cheeks.
Feel around the ears with fingers.
Massage ears with palms.
Trace convolution (shape of ear), shut off sound, and retrace.
Massage area of head behind the ears.


Finishing strokes
Gently stroke neck, shoulders, and back of head.
Gently stroke neck, shoulders, and back of head, end by squeezing head gently between hands.
Gently stroke neck, shoulders, and back of head, ending with head cupped in hands, then...
Lift and lower head very slowly.
Lift and lower head very slowly.
Lift and lower head very slowly.
Rotate head side to side very slowly.
Rotate head side to side very slowly.
Rotate head side to side very slowly.
Lower head down to pillow very slowly.
Cover the eyes with fingers resting gently on eyelids for a few moments to allow meditation.
Slowly, place flat palms very close to the face without touching.
Lift hands very slowly, while you allow the person to re-enter at his own pace.


Adapted from The Bradley Method® Teacher's Manual material r246 (from Laurel Institute, Incorportated)

Relaxation Poem

We discuss mental relaxation in Class 4 as one of the three important ways to practice and learn to relax: physical, mental and emotional. I want to share the poem that we read during our relaxation practice in Class 4, as a sample of something to relaxing on which to focus your mind. 

Coaches - It is a great idea to gather some poems, verses, and/or book passages that your wife/parter would enjoy hearing you read both during relaxation practice throughout pregnancy as well as during early labor. Another wonderful idea is to write a letter together (or two letters separately) to your unborn baby about how excited you are to welcome him/her to the outside world. This could be a wonderful encouragement and relaxation for a mom to hear her coach read this aloud to remind her of the beautiful work and important purpose of what her body is doing to bring your baby from life on the inside of her womb to life in your arms together.


P.S. The poem was written to be read during class to the couple, but I've included a few words to exchange when the coach is reading to his partner in [brackets]. And remember to read VERY SLOWLY, pausing frequently, softly, and in a low voice.
...


Let your whole being
sink slowly, slowly, slowly,
Feel your muscles
becoming limp and loose and comfortable.
Drifting or floating,
relaxed and comfortable,
warmth and heaviness spread through your body.
The baby in your uterus
is warm and heavy.
Feel warmth and heaviness
spreading from the baby to your abdomen, hips
thighs, knees, lower legs, ankles,
feet and toes.
Slowly, the lower half of you is
loose and limp,
warm and heavy.


The upper half of you awaits its turn.
Slowly release, let go,
warm and heavy,
limp and loose.
Let every cell absorb and enjoy,
spreading up back and front,
chest and shoulders.
Arms and hands and fingers let go.


As your neck releases tension,
your head slowly shifts and becomes
more and more relaxed.
Nearer and nearer that comfortable state of
relaxation.


Erase the worries from your brow,
eyes loose but closed.
Eyes and all around the eyes
limp and loose.
Cheeks loosen and droop,
jaw drops.
Tongue is loose in your mouth,
lips part slightly.
Warm, heavy, and comfortable.


Deep slow, heavy breathing.
Breathe in and out slowly,
abdomen up an down slowly.
Limp and loose,
warm and heavy,
comfortably relaxed.


In your mind's eye...
hold a softly purring kitten in your lap
while sunshine warms you [us] both.
Listen to the laughter of children
sledding on a crisp sparkly snowy hill.
Ride a bicycle on a lazy autumn afternoon,
hair blowing in the wind.
Sit before a roaring, snapping fire
with a red shiny apple ready to eat.
Watch a robin build her nest,
weaving string and straw with precision.
Lie on the warm sand, you and your love [me],
while the waves roll up on the beach.


Limp and loose,
warm and heavy,
comfortable and relaxed.


by Rhondda Evans Hartman
© AAHCC